Tag Archives: Carter B. Rey



“You are stronger and I know that in the end you will win, yes believe in a new dawn”: this is the song that plays in my head in difficult days like today. I did not have an easy day because I realized that my professional life will have changes that I was not expecting. It was a heavy and dense day; a swirl of emotions that were lived effervescently.

I question myself at the end of my day about the number of people who, like me, have had a difficult day; to be honest: I did not feel like sitting down to write to you. But this force that directs me towards my dreams is more intense, is greater. Therefore, it is with joy that I lay my words on this electric bed that inexorably approaches us.

It is in the difficult days that the real summers are born. Winter and its white robes exist to let the aromatic flowers bloom; the ice storm exists so the roses smile on its redness. Hard days have to be our moments of strength. You are stronger and, in the end, you will win. It’s all in You!




I sink into the sea like the sediments of a life that weighs; a suffering existence that finds its comfort in the warm texture of the volcanic rocks. I have suffered: not because of a fate; rather by a need for expression that does not find solid ground to leave its legacy. I suffer because the circumstances of life impose itself on a greater will.

But I fight, not under my arms. I am a warrior who never gets tired of his toil – everything in life has a reason to exist. My mood changes and finds as many faces as those of the Moon – that at night radiates the sky with its crystals of hope – but in all the changes I find a smile designed; which shines with its whiteness in black oil.

I am a storm, a storm with skin: I do not turn a face to a challenge, I am not afraid to face my deep ghosts that have been exposed to the naked in the days that pass; I’m not afraid to fall (Man falls and then stands up!). Depression does not know who I am. Believe that you were born to be another star in the bright sky! It’s all in You!



Sadness continues to dye my days promising acid rain that is a promise in a sky full of clouds – gray! She beats hard. She continues to manifest herself in a scenario in which dreams are faded for a while, also gray. Depression is living in a cell where the paints on the walls are black, the color of oil.

She follows in the silence of the night and makes herself present in a time that, when gone, misses her. A time when there is a general lack of emotion; a time that does not go to any door. Pain is certainty: a scourge that burns in the throat and breaks through the silence of the dawn to make itself present in the unspoken words, not expressed.

I stay in a house where the door is wide open but the air does not pass (there is no life!); the air does not circulate and stain my days full of indecency for not fulfilling a greater will. The days go by and with them pass the life that does not return. Will I live forever in this condition? Free yourself from your ghosts. It’s all in You!




This week has not been easy. I’m dealing with post-psychotic outbreak symptomatology. I have felt depressed and unwilling to do anything. The activities that normally give me pleasure turn out to be an annoyance and I am thrown into an existential crisis in which I wonder about the reason of my own existence.

Negative thoughts have stained my days with their dark energy and leave a foul smell in the recesses of my conscious mind. It’s easy to think about my professional failure; when this happens, I often can not outperform myself to the negativity that spills vertiginously through my understanding – it is difficult to remain positive!

My trick these days has been going out of the house. Today, for example, I did not feel like getting out of bed to fulfill my commitments. The battle was hard but I was finally able to impose my will and now I write you from a cafe in Alvalade. The days will not always be easy, but we will not allow ourselves to be smitten. It’s all in You!

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The transpired bodies transport the cotton to the house of the landlords where they will be plagued by hunger and corrupted by the misfortune and lack of humanity. The white of the fibers is stained by blood gushing from the tired flesh and destroyed by slave labor. The struggle for life is daily as is the disrespect for human rights.

It is in this scenario that my ancestors were beaten, raped and killed. The wounds of Slavery are open in my human dimension, and the hot blood from which they flow is evidence of someone who is attacked by their past. (My God: Baptize me, renew in me the promise of a free and generous life – blessed!).

Education is the forgiveness that all blacks need, but often proves insufficient when they kiss us in the mouth and spit us into an opening that is silenced by pain. I still cry all the lashes I took and whipped my body. May Education be the balm of all wounds. It’s all in You!


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If I walk in the clouds it’s not my fault,

It is a necessity that manifests itself.

If  I swim at sea is not my fault,

It is an increment to my essence;

In which it intersects with decency.

If I speak of air are the atoms that create

Roots in me – life is inevitable.

If I talk about the Earth it’s because its plants

Infuse me in this cadence

It is in this friendship that innocence flourishes.




You fell from the sky one morning when the day was cold,

You fell from heaven on a day when I expected nothing.

You brought the hope of a much desired opportunity,

You brought the hope of an enlightened childhood.


I waited for you all my life and nothing kept my foot off,

I waited for you with encouragement and desireless desire.

With you I dreamed a life – an eternity.

With you I dreamed, and bore the ephemerality.


You fell from the sky on a sunny afternoon,

You fell from the sky on a starry night.

With you I dreamed of a week of passion.

With you I dreamed of the freshness of my heart.




Photographer: Tomás Monteiro

Photographer Assistant: Irís Liliana

Make-up: Ani Toledo

Hair: Rui Rocha

Styling: Carter B. Rey



We live clinging to material objects. It is for them that we live and it is upon them that we build our lives. The Society teaches us an excessive consumerism and in this measure we lose ourselves. The meaning of life, if there is any, is not the acquisition of material goods but rather the development of a deep and serious spiritual life.

The happiness that comes from acquiring it is an epidermal feeling, it is not self-sustaining, it is not nourishing. Material goods are fetters that bind us and do not allow us to develop and evolve into a stage of a more fulfilled life – this is the true meaning of life! We are greater than the goods that fill us on a superficial level.

Jesus Christ tears with all the material character of the human condition. Christianity gives us a God who became a little one; a God who could have come into the world in all its splendor and glory, but who preferred to know Humanism and the flesh in a poor, austere, and free manner of material compositions. You’re bigger than your physical dimension. It’s all in You!


Photographer: Tomás Monteiro

Photographer Assistant: Irís Liliana

Make-up: Ani Toledo

Hair: Rui Rocha

Styling: Carter B. Rey



You chase me in the torrent of night.

You say that anything is possible. In this possibility

You lead me to the madness and fragility of existing.

Night is always a bad counselor.

If the night is of whores, poets and madmen

So I, in myself, conjugate these three scenarios;

In a single existence and fragility.

The whore celebrates the Philosophy of human freedom.

The poet tears the novelty with the caress of a pen.

The madman travels in the reverie of a sensitive dissertation.

Me: I am the composition of a fragmentation reading.

I do not know what I write. The only certainty I have is about your existence.

You confuse me and throw me into the abyss where there is an existential vortex –

Who holds me in a cell with no door and a powerful white wall.

I let myself be led by this proposal – I am the God of the Universe.




The word is sacred – it must be respected.

The word is Knowledge – it must be exalted.

The word is Joy – must be celebrated.


The word is a game of chess in which there is neither king nor queen.

The word is a game of checkers in which there are no pieces to be played.

The word is Christ the Redeemer: it is Love, it is Charity, it is Passion.


The word was brought by a people from far away who desired it.

We communicate through the word. The word is ancestral.

The demagogue who converts it into money must be denied,

Because he offends a tradition, offends a culture.


With fury and fire I celebrate the speeches that have changed the course of History –

That without aim walks unburdened of sorrows.

With fury and fire I celebrate the Men and Women who transform the word,

They revive it and turn it into bridges of dialogue and communication.





What are we before the Universe that imposes itself? Who are we before the enormity of the planets and constellations? We are nothing more than sidereal dust – cosmic – that vanishes in a faint breath of a breeze. Thinking about the Universe is a measure of humility because it makes us think that we are nothing at all; Man is not the measure of all things.

We have a giant ego that interferes with and distorts reality. In this gigantism of soul we lose the consciousness of being small. When we reduce ourselves to our universal and atomic insignificance, we realize that there is a huge space in the way that precedes us. When we are humble we realize that there is more place to be occupied.

The ego is greater in a capitalist society but there must be a work for its destruction so that we can live a more charitable life. Let us be the drop in the ocean that contributes, in its minority, to the blue immensity in which we all see ourselves submerged. Let’s be small and learn from the Universe – electric power. It’s all in You!




Many times we are and live in a state of permanent blindness. It is a sharp blindness that does not allow us to see what is in front of our eyes and that closes us in our own shell. It is a blindness that agonizes us and does not allow us to be united with our essence; we are removed from our human condition.

We are blind when we decide not to love our peers as ourselves; we are blind when they are not available to be Charity and Brotherhood. Society lives in a current state of blindness that does not allow us to be greater than our individuality. We are taught to bend the knee before the ego that generalizes itself in selfishness.

But here comes Jesus Christ – the Prince of Peace – to bring us the true light of the world. When He breathes on us, we are able to see the true nature of a spirit of Charity that will drink to Love the unity of the Holy Spirit. Get out of the darkness. Let yourself be enlightened by the spirit of truth and communion of the Lord. It’s all in You!


Photographer: Tomás Monteiro

Photographer Assistant: Irís Liliana

Make-up: Ani Toledo

Hair: Rui Rocha

Styling: Carter B. Rey



The brain is the most fascinating machine in the Universe; we continue to know more about the surface of Mars than about the gray matter that commands our thoughts and through which we experience the world around us. In fact, the expression you should listen to your heart should be changed to listen to your brain.

However, the previous statement would lose all romanticism. Today I speak of the brain because what I appreciate the most in its operations is the trainable feature of its functionalities. Thus, with the right theoretical framework and the right specialist, we can train emotions, thoughts and ideas … Up to competencies such as motivation and resilience.

Throughout my career as an athlete, I changed my mental structure in a radical way: I went from the boy who let himself be lost with the club’s older friends to the adult with a vital belief that participated in the Olympic Games. If I have been able to change my mind to a champion mind you, with work, you can too! It’s all in You!


Photographer: Tomás Monteiro

Photographer Assistant: Irís Liliana

Make-up: Ani Toledo

Hair: Rui Rocha

Styling: Carter B. Rey



I need my ghetto to exist: this is where my strength is allocated. My ghetto for me is the beginning and the end of all things. It is the beginning of a beautiful dream, the graveyard where life is destroyed. It’s these asymmetrical buildings with building defects that hug me every day and teach me how to be a kinder person.

The ghetto is where my essence is and where everything was born; my dreams have been built in these streets where there are bodies that, in a pretense of life, are judged to be in the property of the gift of God. Often, living in the ghetto entails this condition, life is sometimes too rough and austere to be able to live it with contentment.

But for me, there is no place in the world where I feel more complete, there is no place in the world where I feel more connected with the reality that surrounds me due to the simplicity of the people that are made here live. The ghetto is my state of mind because it teaches me to be happy. Where is the best place that in the world for you? It’s all in You!



We all have a voice that deserves to be heard; however, we do not always find the courage to express ourselves: we are often silenced by our fear of hurting others by the content of our message. To exist means to wander in this limbo in which our intrinsic wills are mixed with the external contradictions.

I have always encountered this difficulty of expressing myself, of making myself understood by others. This is the reason why I decided to create this blog. I feel a great need to express myself and to communicate my thoughts to the world; writing relieves me of the pain of thinking and allows me to be more connected with the reality that surrounds me.

I believe that we all come into the world with a mission – a message that has been encrypted in our hearts. If we listen to the frequency of the voice with which the wind blows in our ear, we will be able to listen to what Universe secrets us to the Understanding. What is your mission? It’s all in you!


Photographer: Tomás Monteiro

Photographer Assistant: Irís Liliana

Make-up: Ani Toledo

Hair: Rui Rocha

Styling: Carter B. Rey



January 1st, 2018:

A new year begins and I want to start by wishing to my dear readers, who faithfully follow my work, an excelent 2018. I hope this is a year of conversion; for conversion I mean: a year of transformation – a year in which finally, with a fresh and renewed attitude, we return to the new path – a new journey with renewed confidence and strength. The year 2017 was a great year for me. However, I wanted to be more human… Athlete life requires a selfish attitude toward your goals; we are constantly thinking about the hours of rest that must be fulfilled, in the training sessions in which we will take our body to the limit, in the competitions that are painted in the horizon, in the medals that we want to win … In fact, a vortex is generated feeding  the ego – this force does not allow us to have the capacity to return outside of ourselves, to turn to others.

I felt swallowed up by 2017 in the sense that I was a slave of my ego. There were moments that I could have given more to others and I did not have the courage. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, the exponent of this Charity that is being drawn in me, says:

“I know my work is a drop in the ocean, but without it the ocean would be smaller.”

I have been reduced to the punishment of my projects and ambitions. I was poorer. In this impoverishment of soul, I shone less, I was smaller. I did not contribute with my work to this ocean in which we are all plunged. But in 2018, on this first day of the year, which is World Peace Day, I want to ask God for this courage in which the true spirit of Charity is enveloped. I want to challenge you to do the same. In this way, with the candor of a newborn child, we can ask: In this year that will begin how can I contribute to a more generous world – how can I be a Champion of Service?

This year, to realize my desire to be more human, I have embraced three volunteer projects. I’m going to work at Padre Amadeu Pinto Youth and Community Center – a brave mystic who was famous for the quote “Let’s do the good well done” – with young people and children giving classes in different disciplines. I am responsabile for two kids, Lucas and Miguel – two human beings in whom curiosity is greater than the consciousness of existing. In this same direction, at the invitation of the NEP (Psychology Student Group) I will work in Clínica Psiquiátrica de São José (with my three hospitalizations due to my mental illness, I will certainly have something to add to this project!). Finally, working with the youth population, I am going to embrace a mission in the ghetto of Zambujal at the invitation of my former Mathematics teacher at Colégio São João de Brito. I am full of hope and convinced that all these experiences will bespeak the Humanism that is inherent in me. I want to be external to myself. I want to turn myself to the service that we are invited to practice through Jesus Christ. (I ask the blessing of God so that the selfishness that segregates us in a minority will never be betrayed in my spirit!).

On this World Day of Peace – which marks its 51st anniversary – we are invited to reflect on our actions to ask ourselves if we are agents that promote Peace – a Peace that allows the building of the kingdom of God (Stop for a moment: to be drenched by this consciousness …).

I think that in this reflection an enlightenment develops in the spirit, in all things similar to that of the eighteenth-century philosophers, which allows us to approach the Humanism present in the verse 39 of the Gospel of Saint Matthew. In this approach to the God who became the Verb in flesh, we are enlightened in this New Year that begins to build a more generous and congregative reality that breathes a spirit of Charity. In fact, the theme embraced by Pope Francis for the beginning  year”Migrants and Refugees: Men and Women in Search of Peace” is evidence of this need in a world where there is a lack of reconciliation with Peace.

When we give ourselves to others, we meditate on our individuality. It is this gigantism of soul that I desire for 2018; this matter which is pleasing in my understanding and in it expresses the will of God. We can all contribute for a better world, but that work has to start in ourselves. I hope that in 2018 we will all be able to contribute (in the most convenient way) to Peace. Many of us do not have the time (due to the urgency and ephemerality of real time!) to dedicate ourselves to volunteer work, but certainly we can be peacemakers in our families, with your friends, in our workplace … This is my challenge for you: How can I be a Peace Agent in my day-to-day life? It’s all in you!


Photographer: Tomás Monteiro

Photographer Assistant: Irís Liliana

Make-up: Ani Toledo

Hair: Rui Rocha

Styling: Carter B. Rey